Hearing the Whistle: A Journey to Forgiveness and Coming Home to Myself

As kids, Daddy would whistle whenever he wanted us to come home. Drop what you’re doing and get home! I never remember hesitating. I loved Daddy and I loved that he wanted me there. He was home and it was time for something! I love feeling that memory of running home.

Like so many women and men,

I have always wanted to be thin. While I have attributed it to vanity and an unhealthy coping strategy for many years, lately I’ve realized there was something bigger behind it. MUCH BIGGER!

I’ve wanted peace and calmness, confidence in my ability to be enough for myself. At peace with myself.

I’ve wanted freedom from stuffing down anger, fear, disappointment, shame, resentment, self-destruction!!!!

Today I learned something. Studying an article on forgiveness as releasing a debt of wrong, I realized it was the calmness I crave. Acceptance in that moment I actually see the chasm. The moment I step back, allowing room for the offense to drop. That moment of turning for home.

Every wrong steals something from you that you think you need: safety, security, trust, provision. But, in that moment of wounding and loss, if I can learn to look within for what I need, I can find peace in being ok “without”, being separate.

Calm… realizing I have enough within myself. Enough given to me by SOMEONE who always knew I had enough as long as I have myself and HIM.

I think the work of forgiveness is “dropping the offense” and getting back home. Home to myself. The victory is realizing I only thought I had to have whatever that was.

I have home-I am home.

There will always be hurt, loss, wounding….I want to practice getting home faster. Returning to the calm and confidence of my security in Christ’s love and provision, protection and friendship. To get home to myself faster. To not linger over the loss. I want to listen for my Father’s whistle-get home, drop the offense you are holding-I want you here! Now! we have something here to do.

Mary-